Sort of Boyfriends
by Angelic Guardian
Summary: In which Cat gets Sam to admit her true feelings for Freddie. Oneshot. Post-TheKillerTunaJump. Seddie and Cabbie.


**Author's Note: **Ugh I'm too old to still be watching kid shows but whatever I watched #TheKillerTunaJump: #Freddie #Jade #Robbie and I thought it was pretty amazing and it immediately re-awakened my long lost love for Seddie and Cabbie (but mostly Seddie) and I was so inspired that I just had to write this. NO SHAME.

*takes a deep breath*

Okay, then. Enjoy, kiddies.

**Disclaimer: **Sam & Cat © Dan Schneider

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Sam lay splayed across three uncomfortable plastic waiting room chairs, her foot dangling off the edge and her eyes staring up at the blindingly white hospital ceiling. She had no idea how long they planned on staying at this hospital while Cat's gross and nerdy sort-of-boyfriend Robbie and Sam's ex-boyfriend-but-still-sort-of-friend Freddie recuperated from their vicious tuna fish wounds.

Of course, Sam wasn't surprised in the least that Freddie had gotten hurt. He was a wuss, after all. Plus, he bruised like a peach, or a rotten banana, or some other fruit that Sam hated.

Incidentally, she hated all fruits.

Point was, he could've gotten hurt way worse, and just the thought of that alone brought a restless feeling to Sam's stomach that had nothing to do with hunger. She'd never admit that, though, just like she'd never admit how scared to death she was just thinking about how her air-headed roommate Cat could've gotten herself _killed_ tonight. And all just to protect her. If Sam didn't respect Cat before—which, come to think of it, she sure as hell didn't—she did now.

"I'm back with some scrummy treats!"

And, just like that, it was gone.

Sam heaved a sigh and swung her legs off the chair, standing up to face the ditzy redhead. She straightened her shirt and lifted an eyebrow. "Scrummy?"

Cat nodded. "Mm-hmm. It's a new word I just invented. It's a combination of scrumptious and yummy. What do you think? Cool, huh?"

"No," Sam said automatically. "It's literally the exact opposite of cool. It's warm." Upon seeing Cat frown at that, she rolled her eyes and finally cast her attention to the handful of snacks in her friend's arms. "So, whatcha got?"

Cat's face easily brightened again. "Well, I got some chips, and a chocolate bar, and these fluffy pink treats called Fat Cakes—"

"Fat Cakes?" Sam said, and before Cat could do so much as nod, she lunged with both hands for the concealed delicious snack in Cat's arms.

Cat shrieked, dropping all the snacks on the ground. The bag of chips exploded, and the Fat Cakes slid across the floor. Sam dove for them, snatching them off the ground and quickly leaping back up with the treat in hand. She smiled proudly and started to rip open the package to dig in, while Cat, who now had a hand to her chest, stared at Sam with her jaw hanging open.

Sam bit into the first Fat Cake and moaned loudly as the sweet taste of sugar dissolved in her mouth. "What?" she asked through the mouthful.

Cat dropped her hand. "You could've just asked nicely for the Fat Cakes instead of attacking me like a…"

"Like a what?" Sam asked as she took another bite, lapping up some cream with her tongue.

There was silence as Cat just stood there, apparently trying to think of something to say, while Sam continued eating. Finally, Cat crossed her arms over her chest.

"Like a girl who just attacks people for no reason."

"Uh, trust me, Fat Cakes are a _very_ good reason to attack someone. Like, seriously, that's probably written down in a book somewhere. Definitely on the internet, for sure."

Cat blinked. "Well, all right then." She uncrossed her arms and walked over to the line of chairs Sam was just lying across. She scooped up the candy bar and started to unwrap it, happily plopping herself down in the first seat.

They were the only two in the waiting room, which either said something about nobody else caring enough to want to visit their supposed loved ones who were rotting away in a hospital, or that Cat and Sam apparently cared _too_ much about their…whatevers. Friends. Not-so-sort-of boyfriends.

"Sam?" Cat said, her voice surprisingly softer than usual, which Sam didn't think could be possible.

Sam licked some pink sugar off her finger. "Yeah?"

Cat didn't say anything right away. She just sat there, the candy bar raised to her mouth. She'd peeled down the wrapper, exposing a peanut-filled chocolate bar, though she still had yet to take a bite out of it. She let out a small sigh.

"Come on, what?" Sam prodded. "It's gotta be something important if you actually gotta spend some time to think about it for once."

Cat's eyes snapped up to her. She stared a moment longer, and then said, timidly, "Sorry I tried to steal Freddie from you."

This time, Sam blinked, genuinely stunned for a split-second, but after it passed, she crushed the now empty plastic Fat Cake wrapper in her hand and plopped herself down in the seat next to Cat.

"Yeah, well," she started, and paused. "Sorry I made out with Robbie."

"Thanks," Cat said. "I forgive you."

"Good," Sam said, pausing again, before adding, "I forgive you, too."

Cat smiled at that, and Sam let herself smile, too. This girl was too soft, and deep down, Sam knew she couldn't hurt anyone, even if she wanted to. She was a good friend. Although, again, Sam would never admit that out loud.

Cat finally took the first bite out of the candy bar, chewing happily. After all they'd been through over the last couple days, it felt good to just sit here, side by side, two good friends being their for each other and for their…boys. Nerds. Nerdy, nerdy boys.

"So you really like him, huh?" Sam asked suddenly. She hadn't meant to be nosy, but at the same time, she couldn't help herself from asking. Cat had never mentioned Robbie even once, as far as Sam could remember, anyway.

Then again, she'd never mentioned Freddie to Cat before, either. Had she?

She stared at Cat expectantly, but the redhead was now purposely looking in the opposite direction as she went on quietly eating her chocolate bar. That, alone, made the answer super obvious to Sam, but she still wanted to hear Cat say it.

"Hey, come on," Sam said, nudging Cat playfully, but she still wouldn't budge. After a moment, Sam sighed heavily and brought her arms up, cupping her hands behind her head. "All right, fine. It doesn't matter. You're probably better off without him, anyway. I mean, let's face it, he's nothing but a tall, socially awkward loser."

"Robbie's not a loser!" Cat snapped, and immediately froze.

Sam smirked. That was all she needed. Cat really was too easy. Said girl gasped and started frantically waving a hand out in front of her.

"I mean! He's not! He's just!" she sputtered, her face starting to match her hair. Frustrated, she stopped and tucked her free hand against her chest, the other still cradling the candy bar. "He's a really sweet guy and he makes me happy!"

"Okay," Sam said, satisfied. "That's all that matters. Do me a favor, though, don't leave the poor kid hanging for too long. He's totally in love with you."

At that, Cat got quiet. "He is?"

"He is," Sam said. "If I didn't think it was completely pathetic and a little gross, I'd think it was sort of cute."

Cat fell completely silent. She stared out blankly in front of her, _still_ holding up the candy bar that Sam was beginning to think she could just take right out of Cat's hand and the chick literally wouldn't even notice at all. Cat smiled softly, though only for a moment, and then she looked at Sam and bumped her shoulder against hers.

"What about you and Freddie, huh?" she asked in a tone that Sam could only assume was supposed to be suggestive, though instead it came off kind of creepy. It only got worse when she moved her eyebrows up and down. "I heard through the pear vine that the two of you used to date. What's all that about, hmm? _Hmm?"_

Sam scoffed. "Okay, first of all, it's grapevine, not _pear_ vine. Second of all, _I'm_ the one who told you that we used to go out and third of all, are you gonna finish the rest of that candy bar 'cause it's calling Mama's name."

"Nuh uh, don't change the subject. You can't trick me _that_ easily, Sam!"

"Oh, I think I can."

"You love Freddie! Just say it!"

"Dude, would you keep your voice down?" Sam said, her own voice hushed. "He can probably hear you."

"Good!" Cat said, and jumped up from her seat, shouting, "Hey, Freddie Benson, guess what? Sam's in love with you—"

The last word was muffled as Sam rushed up behind her, cupping her hand against Cat's mouth and wrapping an arm around her waist to stop her from running off. Cat struggled to break free, but Sam only held on tighter.

"Shut it," she said, "and I'll let you go."

"Mmmmmm!" Cat mumbled into Sam's hand, but the screaming eventually died down, and finally Sam felt Cat's shoulders slump as she stopped moving altogether.

Sam slowly released her. "That's a good Cat."

Cat sighed and spun around to face her. She had a pout on her face, and her arms at her sides, the candy bar dangling from her right hand. Sam stared at it, and Cat, apparently noticing that, brought the candy bar up, the plastic crinkling against her palm. She held it up at eye level and swung it back and forth, as if trying to hypnotize Sam with it.

It was almost working.

"Admit you still have feelings for Freddie," Cat said, "and I'll give you the candy bar."

Sam's eyebrows shot up. Since when did Cat learn how to bribe her?

"That's right. Chocolate and peanuts. It's really scrummy," she said temptingly. Again with that stupid word.

Sam kept her eyes on the candy. She could feel her mouth starting to water. Admitting that she still liked Freddie to get half a candy bar didn't seem like a fair trade in the slightest, but she _was _still hungry.

She found herself thinking about Freddie then, about how he was currently all bandaged up and full of broken bones. About how he traveled out here to LA all because he thought she'd gotten badly hurt. About the shocked look on his face after her stupid kiss with Robbie that had been strictly to annoy Cat, but at the same time, that she seriously regretted more and more. About how, after his wounds healed enough for him to talk again, and they finally did grab some dinner, that he'd probably be heading back to Seattle not long afterward, and she probably wouldn't see him again for a long time.

Sam brushed right past Cat, who was still holding up the candy bar. She heard a gasp but didn't bother to turn back, not even as Cat called out, "Sam? Where are you going?"

There were footsteps, and Sam realized that Cat was following her. Cat followed her all the way down the hallway, like a duckling clinging to its mother.

As Sam approached the door, she could hear a guitar strumming and Robbie's voice singing that cheesy "I Think You're Swell" song again. Was that the only song this kid knew? The singing continued even as she entered the room, but she didn't care, because as soon as Freddie saw her, and their eyes locked, everything else melted away.

Robbie abruptly stopped playing. "Oh. Hello again, ladies. Care to hear a jaunty tune?"

Sam walked up to Freddie, their eyes on one another the whole time. She stopped near his bed, and he stared up at her, waiting. She felt a smile crick over her lips, and she looked down at the ground, her blond hair falling in front of her eyes.

"I, uh," she heard herself say. She cleared her throat, and finally, she met his gaze again. His brown eyes stared up at her seriously. "I just wanna say that…I'm glad I was able to save you before those man-eating tuna fish tore your whole face apart. And I…" She moved her hand toward Freddie's. He didn't move, not that he could anyway, but he didn't seem to mind as she slid her palm against his own. She cupped her fingers around his hand, giving it a firm squeeze. "…y'know."

She was almost positive that she saw him smile against those bandages wrapped around his face, and before she could stop and think about what she was doing, how stupid and cheesy and so unlike her it was to do it, she leaned down and brushed her lips against the small part of his face that was actually visible. Pulling back, she gave his hand one last squeeze before letting go.

"We'll stop by again tomorrow to check on you guys," she said, finally turning away to head for the door. "Shapiro, lay off the guitar and get some sleep, would ya?"

"Yes, ma'am," Robbie said.

"C'mon, Cat," Sam said, tapping the girl on the back.

"Kay kay," Cat said. She gave one last look at the two bruised up boys before settling her gaze on Robbie. She smiled at him. "Goodnight, Robbie."

Robbie smiled back at her. "'Night, Cat."

With that, the two of them walked out the door together. They were silent for a while, when out of nowhere the half-eaten chocolate bar was thrust into Sam's face. She grinned and took it from Cat, eagerly ripping off the rest of the wrapper and taking a well-deserved, satisfying bite.

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**Author's Note: **That'll be all from me for this fandom. Hope you enjoyed. Reviews are appreciated. :)


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